Twenty Things I’ve Never Done, Never Will Do – and I Don’t Care

Lea Wait

Lea Wait

Lea Wait here. As the years roll by I suspect we all have our lists of things we’d like to do. Our “bucket lists,” as the movie called them. The most organized of us have even written them down. (“Spend New Year’s Eve in Paris.” check. “Finish reading War and Peace.” check.)

But I have another list. When my children were younger, one of our family jokes were my repeated (and repeated, I’ll admit it) bits of wisdom. One of those they particularly hated was “keep your options open.”  It basically meant … even if you hate the job/guy/class/place/boss … don’t diss it (or them). You never know when for some reason having made a graceful exit will help you out. It also meant “don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.” Maybe you really WILL hate fried octopus. But if you haven’t tasted it … how will you really know? Be brave.

OK. I still believe those things. (Within reason on the “try everything” list. My kids got me on that one a couple of times. No, I didn’t mean try every drug on the street or surf Big Sur the first time you’re on a surf board.)

But I digress.

Back to those years rolling by. At this point in my life I’ve decided there are some things I have never done – and don’t need to do. No, I’m not including the major career choices (although I’ll never be a surgeon or maestro or ballerina, true). But here, for example, are some things I am very happy to announce will never be in my lists of “have dones.”  Some I’ve contemplated in the past, some I never have. But – at this point – realism has set in. There are too many other things I want to do to worry about these. These are the things I’ve never done, never will do – and don’t care.

– sky dived  or parachute jumped or even bungee jumped. (There’s a theme here.)

– attended a bull-fight.

– got a tattoo

– done jello shots

– owned a motorcycle

– driven a shift car.  Successfully.  (OK – should have learned; tried once. I’m not worrying about it anymore.)

– learned plumbing or wiring or roofing, even for my own abode. (Paint, wallpaper, building a bookcase – those are more my speed.)

– been a waitress or flight attendant or joining the military. (admittedly, age is an issue for 2 of these occupations, and knowing how many things I drop in my own kitchen – at this point the world is safer with my finding jobs other than waitressing should I seek out paid employment)

– mud-wrestled.

– sexted anyone.

– pierced anything on my body other than my ears.

– eaten anything that is still alive.

– run in a marathon. (I fantasize sometimes, and have decided this is one fantasy that even Walt Disney couldn’t make happen.)

– hunted either birds or animals. (Or people, for that matter. Law enforcement, public or private, I’ll do vicariously, thank you very much, through my books.)

– earned a pilot’s license (another fantasy of youth.)

– skied water or down-hill.  Cross country I haven’t ruled out.

– ridden on a roller coaster.

–  bred parakeets.  (Another lost dream of childhood, gone.)

–  cultivated a large enough garden to “live off the land.”

–  read every book in the library. (My goal in second grade. Some days I wonder whether I’ll even read my way through every book in my to-be-read bookcases.)

OK – now I’ll throw the question out to you.  What have you never done … and never will do?

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One Response

  1. My “don’t care” list is much like yours. Except that I have roller-coasted back in the days when the Run-A-Way Mine Train was the norm and not the killers of today (LOL), and I probably have read all the books in the library except the really BIG histories of the English kings and such. I would add that I don’t need to ever try recreational drugs. My mother used to have a huge garden and so did my husband’s grandmother–they could have fed the Russian army, if it could have marched on okra, zucchini, yellow squash, pumpkins (one year we had PUMPKINS, boy oh boy), and sunflower seeds. (In the 1980s, Mama grew these sunflowers as big as a dinner plate that were full of seeds. They didn’t return from seed the next year and we’ve never had those again.) Thus I don’t have to do it to prove anything . . . I have a few geraniums and gardenias.

    I’ll never learn to play the tuba. I tried the flute and found that I really don’t have the wind for it, plus the fingering is arcane. I’ll stick with the piano.

    Lots of people have VERY ambitious lists like this. Frankly, I’d be happy with any vacation at all this year . . . Carmel/Pacific Grove is my true target, but if I only get to go to Fink, Texas (the annual Fink Reunion is coming up), I’ll be glad I got to go even there. My youthful megalomania has faded into a focus-on-a-few-things lifestyle, and it’s lucky, because I’m tired already just thinking about all the stuff I used to want to do.

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